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Lovers’ Absent Hours
Is there a maximum number of people it’s possible to date? This is a question I have found myself contemplating. In theory, there wouldn’t be. In reality though, sometimes it boils down to the simple...
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Undiscovered Countries
It seems that to have the sex life of Captain Kirk, you need the emotional self-discipline of Spock. I think its very easy to slip back into the old patterns of mental and emotional conditioning. In...
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Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
Polysaturation [noun] Describing the phenomena of a poly-identified individual with a full dating/relationship schedule, unable to fit in- logisitically, physically, or emotionally- any new intimate...
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Rainforest Ruminations
Silence- whilst something I’ve always been comfortable with when alone- isn’t something that comes so readily when I find myself around folks I really like. I love to communicate. Heck, even when I’m...
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Facing Fears and Finding Flow
“The essence of bravery is being without self deception. However, it is not easy to take a straight look at what we do. Seeing ourselves clearly is initially uncomfortable and embarrassing. As we train...
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Engaging in Excellence
There’s poly folks who will swear they have all the relationship answers. They are adamant that being poly makes them better communicators, better lovers etc. but that doesn’t always ring true with my...
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Musings on Monogamy and Marriage
“Biologically, we are not prepared for monogamy, whereas our culture tells us that Monogamy is something we should do.” ~Dr David P Barash, co-author, The Myth Of Monogamy, in Why Knot: Breaking The...
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Endings and Evolutions
Almost all the the literature on healthy relationships is about how to stay together. Which, if you’re looking at it from a Relationship Escalator perspective, makes sense, right? We want to stay on...
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Depth and Desire
Two years ago, on the morning after my birthday, I woke up in a downtown Vancouver apartment, with a life changing epiphany. I lay naked in bed, gazing at the man slumbering beside me, his fluffy...
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Lessons from Loneliness
“Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you,...
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Gratitude and Growth
Just over two years ago, on a drunken stumble through the streets of East Vancouver with an ex, I was confronted with a question I didn’t know how to answer, and the quest for that answer changed the...
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Conscious Connecting
“Emotional mastery does not mean that you need to be in a state of absolute peace, equanimity, joy and bliss all the time. Rather emotional mastery is the ability of allowing yourself to full...
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Self Intimacy, Sex-Positivity, Shame, and the Resilient Edge of Resistence
“Boundaries are an essential part of life. They delineate and maintain needed borders and separations, making differentiation possible at every level. Boundaries both contain and preserve the...
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Navigating Non Escalator Relationships
aka “So, you’re in a non-escalator relationship- what now?” (dedicated to ‘Alexander’) The most common script that we follow in relationships is that of the Relationship Escalator. And that’s a model...
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Whose Ethics Are They Anyway?
I have a confession to make. I’ve been quiet about this for some time. I’ve a problem with “Ethical Non Monogamy”. Specifically, my problem is the terminology. Ethical. What’s ethical? I ask myself....
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Spiritual Paths, Solo Polyamory, and Primary Self-Relationships
“Honor your self, Worship your Self, Meditate on your Self, God dwells within you as you.” ~ Swami Muktananada Muktananda was a controversial figure, who had a profound affect on many lives, my own...
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All Good Things Must Come To An End
Love is not about losing freedom; it’s about sharing freedom with a partner who’s as talented a liberationist as you~ Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology This post has been hard for me to write. Indeed,...
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